


Is it too late?

by banana_milkshake



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: First Kiss, Fluffy? Maybe, M/M, Tension, battles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2020-09-23 05:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20335156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banana_milkshake/pseuds/banana_milkshake
Summary: Ignatz had always felt his heart leap while around Raphael, as much as he would deny it and keep all that to himself. He thought with time all of it would go away. As if the feelings would just disappear into thin air. If only that were possible...But through the five years, and seeing Raphael again even in the worst circumstances, those feelings come crashing back down even harder and stronger.(This is both before and after the timeskip so there may be some spoilers in later chapters. I will warn you about spoilers.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope the characters are accurate, I haven't played a whole lot of the Golden Deer Path. But I am so so close to completing my Blue Lion Path where I have recruited Ignatz because he is so amazing. Anyways, enjoy!

Byleth had recruited Ignatz into the Blue Lions house a long time ago. Actually Ignatz had asked Byleth if he could join their class because he thought he could learn a lot from Byleth's lectures. It had been a bit sad to leave the Golden Deer House, but his room was luckily right next to Raphael's so they still hung out a lot. Ignatz would always love to help the big man study, he felt very safe with him. Something about Raphael had always put Ignatz at ease, and made him feel all the warm and fuzzy feelings.

Though Ignatz had been suppressing those thoughts and feelings for a long time now. He didn't plan to bring them up with anyone ever. The plan was to always keep his thoughts about Raphael to himself. 

Despite being in different Houses, Ignatz still often talked to the people of the Golden Deer House. Claude had been checking up on Ignatz lately, it confused him as to why but it wasn't bad to feel as if someone cared about him.

"How are you feeling today Ignatz?" Claude asked sitting down next to Ignatz.

"I'm ok. How are you Claude?" Ignatz responds closing his book.

"Well today I'm suspicious of you." Claude replied with an answer Ignatz wasn't expecting. 

He was starting to doubt his behavior, had he been acting suspiciously?

"What do you mean by that?"

Claude stretches his arms out in front of him,

"You haven't been looking so good recently. It looks that you're always in your head, up in the clouds. I don't know what your thinking about but you are obviously thinking about it even late into the night. I've seen the bags under your eyes, and Raphael told me he found you asleep on a desk in the library so he carried you back to your quarters."

"I..."

Claude continued,

"Lorenz and Hilda also mentioned that you almost feel straight into your food yesterday while having lunch with them. I even heard Annette and Mercedes saying they were worried because of how you were struggling to stay awake in more than just one lecture. I asked them about it and they said that Linhardt had to keep poking you to keep you awake."

Ignatz just looked down at his hands on his book. He remembers the day Linhardt joined the Blue Lions House. That was the same day Linhardt had to keep him awake. Surprising how Linhardt wasn't the one falling asleep. Ignatz had been trying hard not to let anyone notice how sleep deprived he was. That some nights he spent laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling rattled with thought after thought. Then all those feelings crashing down on him once again. There was no way for him to tell Claude what was going on, he couldn't inconvenience Claude by unloading his feelings onto him. What was going on in his head was his to deal with alone.

"I, uh, didn't know Raphael carried me back to my room." Was all Ignatz could say.

Claude sighed,

"He even tucked you into bed. Can you tell me what is keeping you up so late?"

Ignatz didn't meet Claude's eyes, even though he knew he was looking at him.

"I've just had some painting that I had to finish late into the night."

There was silence between them, then he heard Claude take a deep breath and stand up.

"I'll take your word for it this time. Still, please try and get some rest. I can tell it is very worrisome to Raphael and the others."

* * *

Ignatz laid wide awake in bed in his dark room wishing for sleep. Except as he looked up at the ceiling he couldn't stop thinking about what Claude had said.

_"...So he carried you back to your quarters...He even tucked you into bed."_

He turned to his side and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Stop thinking about it. Stop wishing." he muttered to himself. His mind wouldn't let him, he kept on wondering what it would be like to be held by Raphael. To be carried, as he already had been but to this time remember it. 

He sat up in bed throwing the covers off feeling suddenly hot. He put his hands to his cheeks feeling how they were burning up. 

"It's a fantasy! It will never happen." Ignatz told himself as he always did when his mind wandered to Raphael. And then when both his mind and heart stuck onto Raphael. 

It was probably a good idea for him at this point to go out for some fresh air, but something told him Raphael might be out there. Ever since Raphael's parents died in that accident Ignatz had felt so guilty that he started to avoid Raphael for that reason too. If his parents had gone in that day...if they hadn't recommended Raphael's parents and had just gone themselves still then Raphael would still have his family. Mother and father. Ignatz had just taken those away hadn't he?

He groaned into his hands before finally getting up from bed and putting on his glasses. As soon as he stepped out the door to the crisp air he was instantly relaxed.

He passed the Mess Hall to reach a spot where the wind was blowing strongly. With the wind went his thoughts. He focused on the whistle of the wind, the way to prickled at the sweat on his forehead, and how it moved with such ease around him.

Ignatz stood completely still letting the wind pass around him until he heard some shuffling and voices. Two voices actually it seemed as he inched closer to where they were coming from within the Mess Hall. He pushed one of the doors open slightly to see the back of some seemingly aqua colored hair and then a flash of green hair. From where he stood he heard snips of their conversation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok little warning here, I guess you say this chapter kinda has some sexual tension? It's actually more like not such appropriate thoughts, but nothing explicit! No sexy times, just like wondering about kissing. That's all. And hand holding, but that pretty much it.

"Wow I for sure thought you'd be asleep!" said a very energetic voice.

"I'm actually very active at night sometimes because of all the napping I do during that day." responded a bland voice. 

Ignatz inched the door open a bit more and confirmed his suspicion. It was Casper and Linhardt...who were oddly close to eachother. Casper got close enough to grab Linhardt's hand.

"So right now you're not tired at all? Energized for training?" Casper said with a fond smile.

"I wouldn't say energized for training, I'm never energized for that." Linhardt said in the same bland tone as before.

"Aw, then what are you energized for? I always feel pretty ready for training, remember we got to get big and strong!" said Casper excited. Linhardt broke into a small smile,

"I have enough energy to walk around and I can always watch you train, right?"

"You could, but that wouldn't be much fun for you!"

Linhardt shook his head, "It's plenty fun for me to just observe. Your style is interesting, and I've already been observing you,"

Casper's smile grows,

"You've already been observing me? Why didn't you let me know I'd explain some of my moves to you!"

Linhardt moves his attention to the floor, 

"It was purely for Chrest research purposes!"

Ignatz watches as Casper grabs Linhardt's hand gently. He had never seen Casper do something so gently, or sounds so gentle when he said to Linhardt,

"I don't mind, let's go together. And I'll even explain my technique! If that would help your 'research.'"

"Is that a blush on Linhardt's face?" Ignatz asked himself surprised by how close the two boys in front of him where.

Linhardt grasped Caspers hand firmly, 

"That would definitely help my 'research.'"

"Hey Ignatz!" Called a loud voice right behind Ignatz making him jump like a spooked cat.

He turned quickly seeing Raphael's face and that he was about to ask something, so Ignatz put his hands over his mouth shushing him.

Raphael made muffled noises as he tried to speak against Igantz's hands. To reach Raphael's mouth his his hands Ignatz was almost standing on his tippy toes. He couldn't be found out snooping on Linhardt and Casper. Hopefully they didn't hear him shush Raphael and had continued their nice moment elsewhere.

The warm breath coming from Raphael's mouth was starting make Ignatz face heat up as he had realized how much he was violating his private space. 

Then there was something wet against Ignatz's hand. It was tentatively licking at Igantz's hand and he instantly pulled away knowing it was Raphael's toungue. 

"Ra-Raphael!" He whisper-yelled, wiping his hand off on his pants. Now his mind had another thing to wonder about.

"I couldn't breath with your hands pressed to my mouth. Anyways, what are you doing out here?"

"No-nothing! I was just leaving actually, good night." Ignatz said panicked and he didn't want to face Raphael right now. Not after all those thoughts he was trying to get away from by coming out here.

Just as Ignatz was walking away Raphael grabbed his wrist. Ignatz stopped walking but didn't dare to look back at Raphael.

"When will you stop running away from me?"

"I...I have to go." Ignatz said not looking at Raphael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't too too short. I'm going to be adding more chapters to this, so hopefully that goes alright.  
Again, thank you for reading it is all appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like in a way based off their supports, Ignatz's and Raphael's supports. Mainly the C and B supports they have with each other.  
Anyways, here's the warning that in this chapter there is closeness. But of course this is nothing mature or 18+. This story will for sure not include graphic descriptions of sex.
> 
> (I'm also sorry for any grammar errors. I know I should be better at catching them.)

"C'mon Ignatz! I can tell what you're doing." Raphael said tugging on Ignatz's wrist slightly. He wanted Ignatz to look him in the eyes. It had been quite some time since Raphael was able to look into Ignatz's eyes long enough to admire the beauty in them. To admire the beautiful color they were and how they light up when Raphael would ask about one of his paintings or mixing pigments.

Ignatz on the other hand wanted so desperately to just get away back to his room. To hide under the covers and keep on waiting for sleep to take him. He couldn't look Raphael into the eyes right now, not while his heart was racing already and his face was most definitely flushed.

"I'm have a-a painting to get back to...I don't want the paint to dry up." He lied.

"Our rooms are right next to each other Ignatz, don't you think we can talk for a bit?"

Ignatz shook his head no and was fumbling with words around in his head trying to come up with another excuse. 

"I knew I heard something." Said the same bland voice from earlier telling Ignatz it was Linhardt. 

Raphael let go of Ignatz wrist and turned towards Linhardt. 

"Wow what are you doing out here too Linhardt?" Raphael asked in his usual loud voice. It was a surprise that so many of them were awake at this hour, and maybe Raphael's voice would wake more people up. 

Linhardt and Raphael chatted about why they were both out so late, Linhardt said he had taken a nap earlier so he wasn't as extremely sleepy. 

"Were you out here with someone else?" Linhardt asked then added,

"I thought I saw Ignatz just a minute ago."

"Yeah! Ignatz was here with me-" Raphael sighed softly when he turned around to find Ignatz no where to be seen. 

"He was here, must have run off. Again."

"Again huh? So he's been avoiding you,"

Linhardt concluded.

Raphael nodded, 

"And I don't know why! I've been trying to ask him, but all he does is run away."

"Ignatz needs some more naps, he was falling asleep during the Professor's lecture the other day."

"Then there's that, I can tell he's not getting enough food or sleep! He needs to fill his belly to focus on all these lectures and then his art."

Linhardt looked at Raphael as if waiting for him to do something. There was confused silence until Casper came bouncing around the corner,

"Go to him already!" he shouted in Raphael's face. Linhardt smiled and ushered Raphael back into the direction of the dorms. Raphael didn't put up much hesitation, even though he felt it was quite late and his stomach was rumbling for a snack. Soon the three of them were all at Ignatz's door and Casper was knocking before Raphael could say anything else or to even object. They had both wished Raphael good luck though he didn't see why he would need it. He just had to figure out what was causing Ignatz to actually run away from him. They were best friends, they have shared many things with each other, so a conversation like this shouldn't be so difficult to have should it?

Ignatz opened the door slightly but enough to see Raphael's bright face. 

"Ignatz! Do you have a second?" said Raphael with hope.

"Uh...Y-yeah! Give me a second!" Ignatz said and quickly shut the door searching his room for his glasses when he couldn't find them on his desk. He had been laying in bed again and had just taken them off. Now this was the time they decided to poof away. Not convenient at all.

After a good while of searching he finally found them and straightned himself out. He had no idea how many minutes went by, or if Raphael would even still be waiting on the other side of the door. He tentatively opened the door.

"You're still here..." Ignatz said under his breath upon seeing Raphael still standing there with a smile. 

"Of course I'm still here! I wanted to talk to you in the first place." 

"R-right! And you've been waiting out here, you should come inside then?" he said unsure of himself.

"If you don't mind," Raphael replied keeping his shining smile. Raphael's attitude could probably even make Felix smile if they interacted ever.

He stepped aside and Raphael came walking into his small and unimportant room. Ignatz had kept the golden bed sheets and rug despite being in the Blue Lions class, the Leicester Alliance was still where he came from.

Raphael was the first one to speak,

"You can't keep running away, Ig. This time, can you actually tell me what's bothering you?"

His eyes were glued to the floor and he fiddled with his fingers. How was he suppose to say that he might be in love with Raphael to Raphael? Except it was just as Raphael said, he really couldn't run away this time. It was his room so where was he going to run off to in the middle of the night?

Maybe he could just tell Raphael how his parents deaths felt like his fault. Even after they died his family didn't really do anything to help did they? He could have done something, he really should have been better.

Raphael sat on Ignatz's bed, the dim candle that was lit illuminated his face. There was a mixture of guilt and butterflies twisting around in his stomach because he knew he had to lie to kind Raphael. 

"It's just because...because of your parents." Ignatz said feeling his stomach turning itself into an elegant knot. 

"What about them?" Raphael responded watching as Ignatz uncomfortably shifted his weight.

"They..." Ignatz hesitated not liking to lie to Raphael. It wasn't the real reason he had been running away. "They died because of my family." he finished. 

Sure what he was saying wasn't a complete lie, he did feel somewhat responsible for the death of Raphael's parents. It just wasn't the correct answer to Raphael's question. 

"No they died in an accident." Raphael corrected him.

He raised his head slightly to meet Raphael's eyes half way,

"But my parents weren't able to go to work that day, so they recommended yours to go in their place. If it had been my parents that went in that day then-"

Ignatz was cut short by Raphael's booming voice,

"Ignatz! That was our parent's business, it's got nothing to do with our relationship. Either way it was an accident, so it doesn't need to effect our friendship like this."

"But it does. Me and my family weren't there for you when you most needed help, I could have done something." he said trying to look Raphael straight in the eyes but failing to muster up enough courage. He was staring down at his shoes when he heard the creak of his bed and foot steps. Raphael's broad shoulders and height made a long shadow hang over Ignatz. 

"You're here now aren't you?" The feeling of Raphael's breath on his forehead as he spoke sent small chills down Ignatz's spine. His smaller figure was nothing compared to how Raphael was towering over him.

"It's strange enough to not see you in the Golden Deer classroom everyday." Raphael trailed on.

Finally Ignatz gathered an ounce of courage to look up into the others eyes. They were so... gentle. Almost strangely so. Raphael smiled upon seeing clearly Ignatz's amber eyes. His hand had moved up to Ignatz's face and his thumb was brushing over soft skin that was turning to a rosy shade. Despite his brain telling him not to, and his heart thundering in his chest, Ignatz leaned closer to Raphael. He was still cautious, only feather lightly touching Raphael's hands. He wondered if maybe he'd get to hold Raphael's hand how Linhardt held Casper's.

His mind raced, telling him it wasn't the right time to blurt out any confessions. That he couldn't possibly be this close to Raphael. He couldn't possibly be so close to the point where he could kiss Raphael right then and there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I'm grateful that you even clicked on this so thank you so much.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so late! School has started and all that like a month ago and bleh. It keeps me from writing. Anyways, enjoy this chapter and sorry if the notes aren't working correctly again >~<
> 
> (Also, yes there is a kiss scene in this chapter, here's your warning. Idk if kissing really need warnings they pretty much are just short and sweet and not explict or anything like that. Sorry, you've been warned!)

Ignatz felt Raphael's hand on the back of his neck and it almost tickled him. Raphael's other hand was on waist, and his lips were on Ignatz's. 

_"We're kissing. I'm here, kissing Raphael..."_

Ignatz said in his head hardly able to believe what was happening right now. His lips were connect with Raphael's and...was that his hand now on his back? It was, and Raphael's hand felt warm. 

There were so many questions, but in this moment they all disappeared from Igantz's mind. They just went poof due to Raphael being so close. So warm. He wished he could stay close to Raphael all day. That maybe Raphael would help him have more restful sleep, just by his presence. 

_"I need to take a breath," _

They both pulled away from eachother, Ignatz panting slightly. 

Then it finally hit.

He just kissed Raphael. Raphael! The one and only bright has ever Raphael! 

Ignatz clasped his hand over his mouth,

"I-I'm so sorry, Raphael!" 

What had he done? Did he just take advantage of Raphael? He might have not wanted to kiss him and didn't push him away out of his incredible kindness. 

Raphael looked slightly hurt,

"For what Ig?"

"I-I-I just kissed you! And didn't even-I'm so sorry I have to go!"

"Wait! Ignatz!" Raphael called after him as he ran out of his own room. He just ran out into the chilly night to wherever his legs would take him. Ignatz didn't know where to go. He made it out the dinning hall doors and was facing the pond when he finally ran out of breath. 

"Hey!!" Someone said from behind him.

"Ahh!" Ignatz yelped and almost fell backwards. 

"I'm not going to let you slip away!" 

Ignatz looked up to the person who caught his hand and saw now that Raphael had followed him the whole way here. 

"Ra...phael," Ignatz breathed out.

"Ignatz." Raphael brought Ignatz into a tight hug and squeezed him hard. Ignatz gave an involuntary squeak. He let his head rest on Raphael's shoulder.

"You almost fell into the pond!" Raphael laughed.

"I'm sorry," was all he said.

"Ignatz!" Raphael said loudly and almost angrily. Gentley he put Ignatz down to look at his beautiful face again.

"What are you sorry for now?"

"I'm sorry for kissing you...and running away...again."

Raphael shook his head slightly.

"I wanted to kiss you, so don't be sorry for that!"

Disbelief crossed Ignatz's face, "You actually wanted to kiss me?"

"Well duh!" Raphael laughed again and said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is short! I will probably edit it more later, and maybe even add onto it. Hopefully, very very much hope that I can update soon! And keep on updating because this story might start to get sad. Anyways! Thank you for clicking on this


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I know I should update more I'm sorry! I hopefully can more in the upcoming months, definitely after this weekend, and provide more edited writing too! Anyways, please enjoy.

The night after their first kiss Ignatz slept considerably better. The heavy bags he had were finally going away and a smile more often adorned his face. This made the whole Golden Deer Class worry less. Though of course Claude was curious as to who or what suddenly lifted up Ignatz's mood. 

Raphael and Ignatz had agreed to keep their feeling for eachother on the downlow. No one but them knew. Except...Linhardt and Casper had already figured it out. Plus some other students knew or had the idea that their friendship was much more than just a friendship.

They were able to maintain their relationship throughout the terror and start of the War. Each acted as a support for the other. Ignatz was very frightened about what would happen as everything became so real. The battles they fought bloodier and more intense. People were injured more often and in severe ways. Lorenz had almost lost an arm, Linhardt had wound up out cold for three days straight, and Dimirti seemed to be acting very...odd. There was a certain look in his eyes. A look of raging fires of hate that would gobble up anything in front of him. All this bloodshed going on while they were all still attending the academy. Raphael was also worried about everything going on though he kept a smile on his face. It might have been a sad smile, but he was trying. Ignatz of course was there to comfort Raphael as he would have bouts of sadness. Bouts filled with doubts and even he had worried that he wasn't strong enough. Ignatz's response to all his doubts were snuggles and reminding him that he could only do his best, and that the deaths of others were not his fault.

* * *

The Monastery was under attack by Edlegard's forces, forces that were quite strong. Edlegard herself was on the battle field and ready to take down the Monastery. The entire Golden Deer house and Blue Lion house were as prepared as they could ever be. Byleth had instructed everyone to defend the Monastery and Rhea will all their might. 

Claude walked up by Dimirti's side and nudged his gloved hand. 

"You alright there...Dimirti?" Claude asked cautiously and opting to use Dimirti's actual name. Dimirti didn't move a muscle. He focused only on the battlefield before him. 

"I'm fine. Worry about your own house." said Dimirti turning his back to Claude. Claude's hand dropped along with his heart.

Still he said, "Good luck out there...my prince."

Claude then walked away to check on his own house as Dimirti had instructed.

* * *

The battle was raging harder as they drew closer to Edlegard and her forces. Ignatz was more towards the back of their forces where he tried his best to keep a look out for Raphael. Raphael being a brawler Byleth thought it was best that he was a front liner. Despite it worrying Ignatz greatly he was relieved that so far Raphael was mostly unscathed. 

_"Thank_ _the Goddess _he's_ alright."_ Was all Ignatz could think.

"Fall back!!" He heard the professor scream across the battlefield. Just as soon as the professor yelled that out there was a handful of pained cries from the left side of the battlefield. Edlegard's army had taken out a whole brigade of the Knights of Seiros. It was the brigade that Claude was leading and it seemed that they were taken out by a magic user.

_Hubert._

It could only be him that has magic so strong to take out an entire brigade. From the panic on the left field came Dimirti carrying a seemingly limo Claude. 

"Help! Is there a healer, please!" He shouted clutching Claude close to his chest. Ignatz and Raphael had regrouped by where Dimirti was crying for help. 

"Where is he hurt? I know some healing magic I can help till Mercedes or Marianne gets here," Ignatz says falling down to where Dimirti had laid Claude. Raphael goes off to find the nearest healer. 

Upon being turned on his side, Claude's damage to the side of his head and his back shows to Ignatz. A gash ran from his shoulder to his pec and there were some slight burns. Ignatz summoned up what magic he could to make the gash close up. 

Dimirti had both of his hands on Claude's face,

"Open your eyes..." 

"Ignatz! Here, let me help," said the gentle voice of Mercedes.

"Mercedes, help him please," Dimirti pleaded holding his forehead for Claude's. 

"He hasn't opened his eyes,"

Mercedes calmly repaired what she could of Claude's back and moved her hand to over his head. Ignatz had already moved aside to let Mercedes do her work.

"Dimitri, he's only unconscious. The Goddess will help us."

"Like hell she will!" Said Dimirti losing his temper. However, Mercedes did not flinch, and did not lose her own temper. Calmly she said,

"Take him away from the battlefield and stay with him."

"But Edlegard is still out there!"

Mercedes lightly put her hand on Dimirti's shoulder, "Take him now. The rest of us will take care of Edlegard." Begrudgingly Dimirti picked Claude up. He handled Claude with care in his arms and for a quick moment looked back at Mercedes. "Thank you." He said, then moved off into the distance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you with sticking with my little story here I appreciate it!

**Author's Note:**

> That's sort of a weird way to end this chapter but I think I'll roll with it. Hopefully another chapter of this will be done by this weekend's end and see you in the next one! If you want to keep reading this, it's appreciated if you do. If you don't then that's ok too! :) Sorry that was weird bye


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